This time last year I was packing my suitcase to journey to the UK to stay with my elderly mother. It was at the beginning of the teachings of the Healers Apprenticeship which was no coincidence as the first teacher plant essence we began working with was the splendid Black Mamaku. The energy of this essence feels to me like the arms of the mother being folded around a child's shoulders when they are feeling unwell. A hug full of warmth that only a mother can provide. A protective hug providing a deep sense of security and being reminded that you will get better and that everything passes.
As soon as I started taking this essence - the Healer Essence - I was off back to my roots, to the arms of my mother to re-connect with her in the physical. As part of my healing process and at the start of the Apprenticeship I had the burning desire to get to know my Mum again, to be close to her, to spend time with her in the everydayness of life, to drink tea, chat, sit in the peace and quiet with her. To laugh at old memories, to listen to her stories of her childhood, to hear about her mother and father, her brother and sister. To make new memories. To listen with new ears, new awareness. To get a different perspective of where I had come from so that I could move forward on my personal path of the Healer.
I had thought that I would be able to write about my experience on the Apprenticeship as it was unfolding, but in reality the depth of the journey did not allow me to share very much at all. It is only now that the journey has ended and I have had time to reflect that I feel able to put pen to paper once more.
I am now able to begin to express some of my learnings and experiences as I come out the other side.
So what did I find when I went back to my mother, to my roots? Well I found a certain level of discomfort as I examined my values, I found a great deal of pleasure sharing simple pleasures with a very dear elderly lady who faces each day in pain, but mostly has a smile on her face. A lady that has seen life change in so many many ways during her 90 years and is willing to share her ups and downs and assist others by sharing her wisdom. A Wise Woman to the many who come to visit her and seek out her wisdom. Sharing her love and wisdom with her family, her friends and those who are her caregivers.
I glimpsed at first hand the pure beauty of my Mum. She was lying on her bed naked, somewhat breathless as her body was tired from the exertion of being in the shower. As she recovered her breath she started to cream the scars on her leg which she has creamed for nearly 60 years. It seemed as though she was in a meditation, lovingly caring for herself. She would have done this thousands of times. How many days are there in 60 years? Whatever the number, this is the number of times she has creamed her scar which runs from her foot to above her knee.
The scar of a mother who has kept on her path despite her physical wounds. Everyday she attends to her scars so that her leg can be as healthy as possible and in her words "to keep me going". I admired her tenacity and strength at that moment more than I ever had done before. Mum demonstrated so well that self responsibility is such a huge part of our healing process. Others are there to support and walk beside us, but ultimately it is our responsibility to commit to our individual healing path.
Then as I looked at her I saw through the facade of her aged body with its physical imperfections and saw the extraordinary pure beauty of a woman who's unwavering light was still shining. She was like a goddess in her full and beautiful power. Her skin pale and milky, white hair gleaming, eyes shining. She looked young and vibrant. She was a breath taking vision of beauty.
I will never forget those moments and I hold so much gratitude in my heart for being given the gift to see my Mum in her pure beauty, just like the pure Mother energy of Black Mamaku. The healing arms of the Mother wrapped around mother and daughter, together in a magical moment of pure beauty.
Until I find the words to write more
With love
Tessa
“And now we find the Goddess re-emerging from the forests and mountains, bringing us hope for the future, returning us to our most ancient human roots” - Maria Gimbutas
For information on the Certificate in Healers Studies follow this link http://www.medicine-woman.com/info/centre-for-shamanic-studies/healers-1yr/
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